i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
