Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
