Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
