she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
