Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize