so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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