I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.