Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter