I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize