can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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