Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring