Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were trust falling into bushes
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him