Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
