so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize