i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize