A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't deserve a penis
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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