It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize