38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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