I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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