A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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