You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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