i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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