Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
