This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
