this will be a night to untag.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
