And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
