Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
