Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
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are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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