just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
