just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
