I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
