so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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