What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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