it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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