honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
