I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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