My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
