he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
