some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Let's paint friendship bongs
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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