I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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