I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My life is pants optional.
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