My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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