Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ugly people sure do ruin things
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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