youre lurking in front of me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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