I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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