went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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