help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize