i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
