tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
