drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
