break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
