i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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