Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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