I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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