the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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