somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
