Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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