I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
