Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
